We've all seen them...
Those articles and social media memes about "What we would tell our younger self...if only we could."
Some of them are very interesting and quite instructive...
Others are appropriately funny...
A few are just nonsense.
A quick Google search produced the following:
"45 Pieces of Advice I Would Include In A Letter To My Younger Self"
"52 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self"
"19 Radical Truths I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self"
"6 Life-Lessons I'd Tell My Younger Self"
"17 Pieces of Advice For Your Younger Self"
"5 Huge Life Lessons I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self"
"25 Stories I Would Tell My Younger Self"
I took the time to read all of those lists...there are some really good life-lessons found therein.
45-52-19-6-17-5-25.
Seems like a whole lotta people have a whole lotta stuff to pass on to their younger self. And, of course, that's impossible!
Bummer!
Too bad. Being smarter and more aware would be really...Really...helpful in our younger years. Then again, if we knew it all as youngsters we wouldn't have much to learn as the slow parade of the rest of our years passed us by.
My number started out as 18.
Then it grew by an additional 13.
An recently it increased by 2.
33. My number is 33.
33 things that, at age 74, I wish I had known (and understood) many years ago.
Full Disclosure...The original list of 18 was something I put together for presentation to three different groups as I prepared to retire after 41 years of pastoral ministry. Several of the 18 dealt with religion/faith/church matters...but I re-thought them realizing that they were applicable to much more of life than just the (too often) narrow view of religion/faith/church.
The second 13 were some things I wanted to pass on to my daughter as she set off on her own adult life.
And the final 2 items were added during this highly-charged and severely-divided time we live in post-2016 election.
Lastly, some of these items have appeared in other blog-postings I have offered.
If I now know these 33 things at the ripe old age of 74...I also am aware that learning them over time has been important. Sometimes the learning was gentle, sometimes harsh. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast. Sometimes a blessing, sometimes hellish.
Oh...and as I learned from reading the seven lists cited above, and from fine-tuning my own list, these things are highly personal...revealing the life-lessons learned in an individual life lived in a specific time and place. Some of the learnings can be universal and instructive for others, but really they apply mostly to the younger and older versions of the person making the list. To the degree they display gained knowledge and maturity they are instructive for others.
Here they are: 18+13+2...
18 Things...
1. You don’t need to know every detail to succeed.
2. Don’t live in the future…or the past.
3. Don’t set unrealistic expectations.
(Your dream will not match reality every time out.
Not every experience will be what you thought it would be during the planning stage.
Hardly any details about anything will be revealed “in prayer.”
Every rose has thorns.
People will disappoint you.)
4. There’s more than one way to do just about anything.
5. Stop all-or-nothing thinking.
(Thoughts like:
You’re successful or you’re a failure.
You’re skinny or you’re fat.
It is only black or white.
If you don’t follow this path, you are wrong.
If I quit my job because I hate it, I’m a failure.
If you make a mistake, you’re out of my life.
I have to make $X per year, or I am not successful.)
6. It’s okay to be a lone wolf sometimes.
7. (Some) People change.
(The point is that when people change, you need to let them discover whether it’s right for them or not. If it isn’t, they’ll change back.
If it is, you’ll have given them the opportunity and the space to become someone that they’re happier being.)
8. (Some) People do not change.
(Whiny people go on being whiny. Smug people go on being smug. Kind people go on being kind. Some people never change.)
9. Don’t settle.
(Don’t settle for skimming the surface of life. All the good stuff is below that.)
10. It’s important to Never Forget Who You Are
.
(We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be – Kurt Vonnegut)
11. People are capable of both great humility and great arrogance.
12. People can be incredible liars.
13. The Universe is a tough place.
14. You will be betrayed.
15. Just about everything is political.
16. You can change the things that you can change…but you will have to work at it; and it may not happen over-night.
17. A healthy and living theology leaves room for our changing understanding of God…and God’s continuing revelation.
18. For many of us, the clearest revelation of God is the person of Jesus of Nazareth, but that life is not the only revelation of God. Not even close.
Plus 13 More...
19. To do something, you’ve got to start at the beginning.
(To build something you’ve got to start from the bottom up.)
20. Being afraid serves an important purpose.
Being brave serves a more important purpose.
(There are lessons to be learned from both fear and bravery.)
21. The big picture is nothing other than many smaller pictures brought together.
(Be sure to notice the smaller pictures.)
22. The truth is the truth no matter who speaks it.
23. If it doesn’t look like love, no amount of words can make it otherwise.
24. If someone demands your silence, leave.
25. You never really know what you think you know…until you do know.
26. If something makes you uncomfortable, try looking at it differently.
If it still makes you uncomfortable, leave it alone.
27. If you find yourself hemmed-in, boxed-in, or trapped, do whatever it takes to break free.
28. Listen to your inner voice.
(Learn from what hurts you.
Learn from what heals you.)
29. Read good books. Often.
30 Its only “Good Advice” if it points to the truth.
31. Learn to listen to and understand the Language of Silence.
And 2 more...
32. ”Illigitimi no corborundum"--Don't let the bastards grind you down.
33. The powers that be never want to change…why would they?
