What in the World is "An Enhanced Virtual Driver?"

An ad that replays often during the sports-talk radio programs that I listen to on my car radio has two guys talking.  One says, "I played St. Andrews last week."  The other questions, "But, that's in Scotland, were you out of the country?"  "No," says the one, "I was playing it on my computer..."

Come to find out there is a website you can join that will allow you to "play" all the great golf courses of the world.  "Its just like being there," says the one guy in the ad.

And, if you sign-up to join this website you will receive...wait...wait for it..."An Enhanced Virtual Driver!"

Oh my goodness, sign me up!

No, not really.

OK, by definition "virtual golf" isn't real golf, its a simulation of real golf.

This is a picture of an actual driver, ready to strike a real golf ball.  That's a real tee holding that real golf ball, and the real tee is pushed down into real grass and real dirt.  Really.  Not virtually.

Virtual.  There's virtual almost everything these days.  Virtual sports, virtual classrooms, virtual churches, virtual dating, virtual communication.  Virtual.  Not real.  Simulated.  Not actual.

My guess is that some folks...maybe too many folks, prefer to deal with the virtual instead of the real. 

Virtual is safe, of course.  Real can be scary. 

Virtual can be controlled.  Real can hardly ever be tamed.

Virtual is contained within an electronic device.  Real is never contained.

Virtual can be adjusted to fit your skill-level or competency or desire.  Real will challenge every skill and competency and desire you have, every minute of every day.

This is a picture of the real St. Andrews golf course.  In the real country of Scotland.

I confess I have only played virtual golf on an arcade game console and a home game system hooked up to a large screen TV.  I sucked at it.  And, I didn't enjoy playing it much at all.  (I also am not that great at real golf, but I do enjoy playing it.  A lot.)

But.  But, I still wanna know what in the wide world of sport "An Enhanced Virtual Driver" is, and why I should find this a good reason to sign-up to play a not-real game.  (And, how much of a disadvantage am I at if I choose to use just a "Regular Virtual Driver?"

Oh.  If I carry more than 14 virtual golf clubs in my virtual golf bag while virtually playing the virtual St. Andrews course, is that a virtual penalty?

Do I have to pay a virtual caddy?

Do I have to wear a shirt with a collar while playing virtual golf?

I'm done here.  Really.