The Countdown...Hello 2017...Being Grateful...

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"The Countdown" is on as I write this. 
The Countdown to the end of 2016 and the beginning of 2017.

My wife and I will be in Orlando as the New Year is ushered in and the old year is kicked to the curb. I am Grateful that we are able to make the trip.

As with any "out-with-the-old-year-and-in-with-the-new," there will be fond memories of what has been...
and hopes for what will be.
There will be regrets and sorrows we leave behind...
and resolutions we make to help insure the next year will be better than the one just past.

I would like to say that 2016 was just OK, so far as years go. A mix of good and bad...sweet and bitter...birth and death...building up and tearing down.
I do lament the outcome of the Presidential election in our country...
but we will get by...
we will survive...
life will go on...
lessons will be learned.

But, truth be told, 2016 was messy...sometimes real messy. And...

Truth be told, Life IS messy…every one of us knows that…
First-hand…up close and personal.

The messiness
Is wild and sneaky

It lives in our bones

And makes a home in the very fabric of our being.

It doesn't care that we wish it would pack its bags
And get the hell out of town.
Truth be told...
The longer we live

The messier life gets.

And while I have no way of knowing what my mood or yours will be as the ball drops in Times Square on Saturday night...
I would like to suggest a few thoughts on the subject of Being Grateful as we say Hello to 2017.
Here's hoping 2017 will be a little less messy.

Being Grateful because all who will read this blog-post have received much in this life.

Being Grateful because it moves us away from being hateful.

Being Grateful because, when we think about it, its our moral duty.

Being Grateful because it truly is a learned behavior...and why not start January 1st.

Being Grateful because it has the possibility of turning things around...for the better.

Being Grateful because it really is so easy. A simple act. A kind word. A smile. Being there.

Being Grateful because it has the power to rekindle the inner spirit.

Being Grateful because there are people who love you.

Being Grateful because Karma/Fate/God will bring it back around to you.

Being Grateful for just being alive...for some measure of health...for whatever privileges you enjoy.

Being Grateful for where hard work...and luck...and time...and relationships...have gotten you.

Being Grateful because it will warm your heart...and probably your soul, too.

Being Grateful because its a way to intentionally reflect...to be still...to look back on and learn from the positive.

Being Grateful because it is...it most certainly is...a way to pray.

Being Grateful because 2016 (or any previous year) was gifted...not guaranteed.

Being Grateful because it will turn what you have into enough...maybe even more than enough.

Being Grateful because it almost always makes you graceful, as well.

Being Grateful because the effects of it...and the echoes of it...will go on and on and on.

Being Grateful for Here...for Now...and for What Will Be.

Maybe Now...12 Days Before Christmas

The Twelve Days of Christmas...too many of us are not clear on just when those 12 Days take place.
The 12 Days begin on Christmas Day and run thru January 5th...with the next day, January 6th, being Epiphany...AKA Three Kings Day.
Those Twelve Days of Christmas are not the subject of this blog-post.

This blog-post is written and posted on December 13...12 Days Before Christmas 2016.

I wonder...
I wonder if maybe now...
Maybe now that we are through most
 of the tree-trimming and the decorating

and can manage a little time
 with the ones we love…

Maybe now in the midst of our scaled-back going and doing,

in what remains of our almost completed shopping and spending,

we will remember the Hope, and the Joy, 
and the Light-of-the-World, 
because…

In 12 days it will be Christmas…

But today we are very close to it.

Too often, in the midst of 
our sorrows and tragedies,
we miss the echoes of grace and peace…

Yet, maybe now...
in the embrace of our children, 
in the comfort of family and friends,

we can be tempted to be hopeful once more… 

hopeful that maybe just a little
 of our world and ourselves might be 
changed for the better, 
because…

In 12 days it will be Christmas…

But today we are very close to it.

In this oft-times difficult world
 as we allow ourselves to anticipate  
the Advent of Peace, once more…

as we remember that there is indeed
 much about which to be joyful…

Maybe now we could carry that joy with us 
for just a short while, 
because…

In 12 days it will be Christmas…

But today we are very close to it.

So I wonder if Maybe Now...

Silence is...

One of the Preachers at the  Quaker Meeting I attend, stressed, on a recent Sunday, the rich…but sometimes awkward…gift of Silence. Silence in the way Quakers…Friends…practice it…in the hope of centering into the equally silent Presence of God.

Got me to wondering...

From 1974 until 2015 I was a United Methodist minister…and in leading traditional worship…silence is usually deadly…

And for ten years back in the 70s and 80s I co-hosted a weekly half-hour television show on WTTV…and on television programs…silence is deadly…

And, for five years in the 1980s I hosted a weekly half-hour radio program in Indianapolis…and in radio…silence is deadly…

Ram Dass, the author and spiritual teacher says this:
 The quieter you become, the more you hear.

And my wondering led me to conclude that what we are dealing with here is a completely Other Language than we…most of us, anyway…are used to using…or understanding:
The Language of Silence.

The Eagles sang about it…a verse of their song
“Learn to Be Still” goes like this…

We are like sheep without a shepherd
We don't know how to be alone
So we wander 'round this desert
And wind up following the wrong gods home
But the flock cries out for another
And they keep answering that bell
And one more starry-eyed messiah
Meets a violent farewell-
Learn to be still
Learn to be still

In his Nobel Prize acceptance speech, the Irish poet, playwright, and translator, Seamus Heaney,
said this:

“The true and durable path into and through experience involves being true to the actual givens of your lives. True to your own solitude, true to your own secret knowledge. Because oddly enough, it is that intimate, deeply personal knowledge 
that links us most vitally 
and keeps us most reliably connected to one another.”

I kept wondering...and decided that:

When I give my Nobel Prize acceptance speech…it could happen…
I think I will say this:

I want you…all of you…each of you

to learn to be still and learn the Language of Silence
listen to it speak until you understand then
what you do not know now.
You will learn what Silence has to say...only to you.
You will learn about Hopes and Dreams.
You will learn what is needed to
keep you Heart calm and
your Head held high
while The Creator’s Spirit whispers secrets to your Soul.

The 13th century Sufi mystic, known as Rumi…
wrote this:

Now be silent.

Let the One who creates words speak.

(The One who) made the door.

(The One who) made the lock.

(The One who) also made the key.

And in the Language of Silence…if you listen with your heart…
you just may hear
words as graceful as these:

May life be gentle with you today
...
May you know forgiveness today
...
May you see all that is pleasant today
...
May life be grace to your soul today...


Let us be Still…
Let us be Still…
And see what the Language of Silence will offer us today.

Thank You for this Nobel Prize…
And now I will be silent.

Stuff...and Maybe Doing Something With It.

Some stuff in this life is perplexing. Confounding. Strange...really strange.
Some stuff doesn't seem to make sense.  In fact, some stuff doesn't make sense.
Actually "stuff" is just another way to say a less-acceptable-in-common-discourse word that has four letters and also begins with "s."

When I was still preaching and would want to hone in on the really bad stuff in life, I would use the word "stuff," but pronounce it with an emphasis on the first letter and then slowly pronounce the "tuff" part of the word. People knew what I meant in using that word...and they also knew what word I was really reaching for...and they knew what "stuff" felt like when it happened to them.

In-Between now and then…Stuff happens.
In-Between here and there…Stuff happens.
In-Between more and less…Stuff happens.
In-Between sickness and wellness…Stuff happens.
In-Between presence and abandonment...Stuff happens.
In-Between good and bad…Stuff happens.

In-Between right and wrong…Stuff happens.
In-Between peace and conflict…Stuff happens.
In-Between joy and sorrow…
Stuff happens.
In-Between me and you…Stuff happens.
In-Between them and us…
Stuff happens.
In-Between an old year and a new year…Stuff happens.

Seems like we live most of our lives in that In-Between time.
Where all the stuff happens.

In-Between…When
Time is too slow for those of us who wait…and 

Its is too swift for those of us who fear.


When 

Time is too long for those of us who grieve…and

Its is too short for those of us who rejoice.

In-Between…is one of the most gnarly, dark places in life because we aren’t fully here,
and we aren’t fully there…
We’re somewhere In-Between.
Where all the stuff happens.

But...who knows,
the In-Between time, where all the stuff happens,  could turn out to be a good time.
Maybe.
When the stuff happens, maybe...
It could be a time to finally let go of whatever is holding us back.

It could be a time to stop hiding and pretending.
   
-a time to to make amends.
   
-a time to say what needs to be said.


It could be a time to do the thing we think we cannot do.

It could be a time for a new relationship with ourselves.

It could be a time to walk away…from stuff.

   -a time to express what we most deeply feel.
   
-a time to make peace with our past.

   -a time to take a stand.

   -a time to start over again.

   -a time to act on our passion.

   -a time to break our silence.


It could be a time to finally ask for help and support.

It could be a time for creating the life we really desire.

   -a time for establishing boundaries.

   -a time to stop saying we can’t.

   -a time to declare what truly matters in life
.
   -a time to stop making excuses.


The in-between time could be a time to be honest with ourselves.

   -a time to think for ourselves.
   
-a time to follow our own path.

   -a time to listen to our own heart.

   -a time to live our own life.

Maybe the next time...when stuff happens...we could start doing something with it by calling it what it is, and moving on.
Because as every one of us knows: Shit Happens.

Things Fall Apart...

Things Fall Apart is a 1958 novel by Nigerian writer Chinua Achebe. It is the story of Okonkwo...and chronicles the struggle between colonialism and African traditional cultures.

It is a great read...if you haven't, you should take the time to become acquainted with it.

This blog-post and that great novel share only two things in common:
-Title, and
-the observation that outside forces too often ruin a good thing.

The question posed by the picture above, of course, is this: Which is the outside force...the old cars and gas pumps, or the open grass field?

I will leave that philosophy of the picture for another time.

My contention is that the passing of time and rust are the outside forces that have laid ruin to three cars and two gas pumps.

And here?

I would say that the passing of time and nature have done-in what was once quite possibly a very nice house.

And the something like rust, and the passing of time, and various other things are doing me in, too. Mostly the passing of time.

Over the passing of 71 years, body parts that used to work quite well now either have quit working or no longer work quite well.

I have offered up to the body-part graveyard, my thyroid, my appendix, my wisdom teeth, the tip of one finger, an anterior cruciate ligament, and a right hip.
The loss of my thyroid has been dealt with by taking drugs.
I didn't really need the appendix...what a strange vestigial organ that thing is.
Ditto on the wisdom teeth.
The finger-tip was a quite painful loss...resulting from some not-well-thought-out plan at my first job...but easily dealt with with the passing of the years.
The ACL was replaced with a portion of my patellar tendon.
The hip was replaced with an incredible thingy called "total hip replacement." It came with a price tag of just over $93K.

Other body parts that used to work quite well, no longer do. No details will be offered here.
One wonders just how long the really important stuff will keep working at all. Stuff like the heart, lungs, brain, digestive track, left elbow. Yeah, stuff like that.

Truth: outside forces too often ruin a good thing.

And that applies to the passing of time...and a lotta other things you are now free to think about and maybe do something about.

What's In a Name...In the Year 1945

James. Robert. John.


In 1945, those were the three most popular names given to male children that were born in the United States.


Robert (Bob) Seger was born in 1945.
John Fogerty was born in 1945.
James Naughton was born in 1945.


I was born in 1945.  My parents obviously did not go with the prevailing favorite names when I arrived on March 12th at Memorial Hospital in South Bend.

In fact, I was given a name that had already been spoken for in the Steele family.  Two names, really.

I am named Nelson Edward. 
Here's the thing: The Steeles lived in a very small town...and resided in two houses about two blocks apart. My paternal grandparents lived in the big house on Edison Road...one of the two paved streets in Lydick back in 1945. (The other was Quince Road.)  My parents and I lived in the house on what is now named Eunice Street...back in the day it was an unnamed gravel road and our mail was sent to a mailbox a block and a half away on Quince Road, just across from the E.U.B. Church.

My paternal grandfather's name was John Nelson. His son, my father, was named John Edward.  Since they had shared a home for many years, neither of them went by the name John...Grandpa was Nelson...Dad was Edward (or more commonly, Ed).

My first name was unusable. My middle name as unusable.

From the beginning I was known by a name that was not my name: Ned.

OK, enough of that.  I like the name Ned.  I am known as Nelson to a very few people, and have never initially introduced myself using that name. 

What's in a name? A life is in a name. And how one fashions that life will go a very, very long way toward answering that question.

Nobody before you, with whom you share the same name, will define who you are...only you can do that.

YOLO! Carpe Diem!

My kids (Brent, Scott, Gary, Hannah) and me...2008.

My parents (Ed and Pat) and me...1963.





What If?

Who?
What?
When?
Where?
Why?


If I had been a reporter during my working years, those five "W"s would have been the tools of my trade.


Maybe I could have been like the fictional character created by friend, John Riggs, in his Garth Ryland mystery series.  I believe John has now published 17 or 18 of these really good novels...all featuring Garth Ryland, a newspaper reporter in the town of Oakalla, Wisconsin. I could have poked my nose into the dark goings-on of small town Midwestern America...could have solved great mysteries like "Cold Hearts and Gentle People," "The Lost Scout," and "Snow on the Roses." But, such a glamorous and sleuthful life was not mine to experience.

I wasn't a reporter, I was a pastor/preacher.  I didn't so much deal with the five "W"s listed above...I dealt more often with "What If..."


I was allowed to ask people questions like:


What if anything is possible?
What if there is nothing stopping you?
What if every day is the best "today" that it can be?
What if life is as Tigger says: Not about how fast you run or how high you climb but how well you bounce?
What if you could not ultimately fail?
What if the mythical constructs of  heaven and hell were not in play?
What if your hopes became reality?
What if you have everything you really need?
What if you have been created perfect in God's eyes?
What if there really is nothing to fear but fear itself?
What if you could just decide to be happy?
What if, like Jim Mulholland and Philip Gulley suggested in their two books, God Is Love and Grace Is True?


I think I like the What If approach to life.


I am reminded of this story by Carter Heyward:
Once there was a wise old woman who lived in a small village. The children of the village were puzzled by her—her wisdom, her gentleness, her strength.
One day several of the older children decided to fool her.
No one could be as wise as everyone said she was, and they set out to prove it.
One of them said to the others, “I’ll ask her whether the bird I have in my hands is dead or alive. If she says it is dead, I will open my hands and let it fly away. If she says it’s alive, I’ll crush it and she’ll see that it’s dead.”
So they went to the woman and presented her with this puzzle.
“Old woman,” the boy asked, “this bird in my hands—is it dead or alive?” The old woman became very still, studied the boy’s hands, then looked carefully into his eyes.
“It’s in your hands,” she said.           




 

Don't Step in the Stuff!

I remember the time I was asked to be the chaplain for a session of the Indiana Legislature.  I was living in Greencastle at the time, and this would have been May of 1991. It had been a cantankerous session in the days leading up to this, the final day of the session for the year.  I offered the opening prayer (didn't close using the words "in Jesus name," and was both thanked and questioned by about equal numbers of people for doing so), and was preparing to leave when the House Speaker asked if I could stay to open the next session...it was obvious that the current session was going to be brought to a close sometime in the morning hours and an extended "Special Session" was going to be convened not long after.  There would be a free lunch in it for me. I said, "Sure."
In the hours between my opening prayer and the close of that Session, I listened as legislators repeatedly said to each other (in not so quiet conversations), "Let's just get the hell out of here!"

Following lunch, I stood to offer an opening prayer for the Special Session.  I remember saying something like," Dear God, before all of us get the...(long pause)...heck out of here, might some heavenly work be done.  Amen."  The floor broke out first in laughter and then in applause.  Almost everyone there knew that my word "heck" really meant their word "hell," as in "get the hell out of here."

A friend of mine who lived in Galena, Indiana called me the next day to say that my prayer, and the response, had made the front page of the Louisville Courier Journal newspaper.  My goodness...must have been a very slow news day.

Now on to the topic of this posting.
I have found that, if you say the word "stuff" slowly, with the accent on the "s," most people will know that you really mean another word that begins with that same letter but is one letter shorter and ends in "t."

I know this from having used the word "stuff" in just such a way in quite a number of sermons.

People have a pretty good handle on what "stuff" can refer to when used this way.

My advice to us all is that as we journey thru life, we shouldn't Step in the Stuff.

That's what I mean by "S....tuff."

I suggest we can avoid stepping in the stuff if we are Wise...if we are Careful...if we are Prudent.
 
Wise enough to:

-Know how to include, instead of exclude.
-Trust that peace, not war, is the only ultimate was forward.
-Believe that grace and redemption are given to all.

Careful enough to:
-Forgive and to seek forgiveness…even in…maybe most especially in
our most near and common relationships.
-Let go of resentments…release grievances, self-pities and jealousies that only weigh down our souls.
-Release our need to control every outcome…realize that we cannot control other people…realize that we can only influence.

Prudent enough to:
-Choose grace over judgment…mercy over a sense of self-justification and entitlement.
-Perceive our complicity and responsibility in the basic survival of millions far away and neighbors nearby.
-Value gratitude over complaint, peace over disharmony, hope over despair, and life-giving over death-dealing.

Hey...Don't Step in the Stuff!