Patience and Wisdom...

Back in 2009, when I decided to try the blogging thing, I chose the picture below to accompany every posting. I find it a funny photo...also an insightful one.

The picture is titled Patience and Wisdom. The dog is smart to employ both...maybe he has learned from experience.

Eight years into this blogging thing, I decided to address this picture and why it was and still is important to me.

Full disclosure: I am not always in full possession of either Patience or Wisdom. They remain, however, worthy goals.

Here goes...We start with an old story.

Legend teaches that each morning when we wake,
we are given the world to care for. 

And each night as we go to sleep we must return it. 

When we do, The Creator asks us, “What did you do with my world today?
Did you add to it…or diminish it?”

I would suggest that to "add to" this world
You and I need (at least) to be Patient and Wise.


You and I are Patient and Wise...
When we forgive
 and seek forgiveness…even in…
maybe most especially in

our most near and common relationships;
When we let go of resentments…

release grievances and self-pities and jealousies

that only weigh down our souls;
When we release our need to control every outcome…

realize that we cannot control other people…

realize that we can only influence…
and the best way to do that is with love.

You and I are Patient and Wise...
When we choose grace over judgment…

choose mercy over self-justification and entitlement;
When we are able to see beyond our needs and desires…

to perceive our complicity and responsibility

in the basic survival of millions far away

and neighbors nearby;
When we let our light shine…
use the gifts we’ve been given

and take advantage of the opportunities before us;
When we choose gratitude over complaint
peace over disharmony
hope over despair
and life-giving over death-dealing.

You and I are Patient and Wise...
When we cease worrying about what we will become…

and instead are concerned about who we will become;
When we choose carefully those with whom we surround ourselves...
pay attention to that which we pursue with all our heart
all our soul and all our might...
and to what compromises we are willing to make in that pursuit;

When we make those compromises judiciously and sparingly...
because when they all add up
we may become someone we do not recognize;
When we realize the who we will become is determined
in large part not by what we acquire, but by what we give…
mostly by how we give of ourselves;
When we make it a habit to give back to our neighborhood
and our world.


Patience and Wisdom. Yeah, that.

Messy vs. Mercy

Life is messy…
each and every one of us knows that…
first-hand…
up close and personal.


My life is messy.
Your life is messy.
The life of everyone we know is messy.

The messiness of life refuses to be ordered...
Its wild and sneaky

Its almost like it lives in our bones

And makes its home in our gut.


The messiness of life is loud and it doesn't care who hears...
Its screams and shouts

Its groans and laments
.

The more and the longer we live

The messier life gets.

A news article from October of 2015 made mention of the fact that Pope Francis and some of the Catholic bishops were wrestling with issues in Rome. The Pope’s response to the issues they were dealing with, the article said, was that he was promoting "mercy in the messiness of life."

I thought to myself, “Yup. We can all use some of that!”  Some mercy in the messiness of life.

One of the great Jesus sayings about mercy, know as The Beatitudes, might look like this...when set over against the messiness of life as we know it:
When life was messy and I was hungry…you fed me.
When life was messy and I was thirsty…you brought me water.
When life was messy and I was homeless…you gave me a room.
When life was messy and I was in rags…you gave me clothes.
When life was messy and I was on the brink...you pulled me back off the ledge.
When life was messy and I was sick…you sat at my bedside.
When life was messy and I was in prison…you came to visit.
When life was messy and I was fumbling in the dark...you brought the light.



I think the Pope may be on to something transformational
when he stresses the importance of people enacting Mercy in the Messiness of Life. 
Mercy really does have the power to transform
Messy events,
Messy situations,
Messy lives.

Be Happy...Sounds Easy but It Ain't

According to Pharrell Williams, the road to happiness starts when we throw worry under the bus and move on down the road.
Good song.

The Dalai Lama offers two quotes about happiness:
"The Purpose of our lives is to be happy."
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
Good words.

Saint Augustine observed:
"Indeed, man wishes to be happy, even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible."
Good observation.

H.L. Mencken offered this:
"Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
Good laugh.

It is easy to find lists of all kinds that point the way to happiness.

When I think on the times when I have been most happy...they almost always involve specific places, experiences, feelings, and people.

Go ahead, give it a try: Think of the three or five or dozen times you were most happy.  Are you in touch with the places where this happiness happened? -The experiences taking place? -The feelings you were most aware of? -The people whose company you were sharing?

And so, based only on the facts that I have been around the block a time or two, have been exposed to my fair share of "stuff", and have arrived pretty much intact at the ripe old age of seventy-two...here is a listing of what I suspect moves us closer to being happy than not...taking into account that being happy sounds easy but it ain't.

Try to treat every day as a (good) gift.

When its necessary,  don't be afraid to lean on other people

Practice acceptance: Of Self, of Others, and of Life.

Get in touch with your soul (your essence) regularly.

See the Light (see God) in people.

Let your emotions be your guide, but not your identity.

Leave room in your life for surprises and new possibilities.

Give...but give to give, not to receive.

Let joy lead your forward, not fear.

Do things that are meaningful.

Meditate on things positive, and beautiful, and true.

Don’t confuse making a living with making a life.

Adopt realistic visions of both success and failure.

Accept...even better, embrace...change.

Don’t be afraid to risk or to challenge.

Be aware that everything is temporary.

Invest in yourself...it pays the greatest dividends.

Practice forgiveness...and gratitude, too.

Live only in the present.

A Change of Direction

You've been going in that direction for so long now...it seems like that direction is fate...or karma...or even devilishly- or divinely-directed.

But that direction is not the only direction open to you.
Believe it or not, you can change direction in life.
But it ain't always easy to change direction.

Change takes more steps and more time than we might initially think are needed.
Its those steps and that time that too often keep us from the goal.
That is most unfortunate.

But...don't be too scared of opening a new door...walking a new road...changing your life's direction.

When life is good…and when it is not…Change can happen. 

When things go our way…and when they do not…Change can happen.  

When we are hemmed in by troubles…and when we are not…Change can happen. 

However, Change does require Change.



Pain can be involved in Change.
Loss can be involved in Change.
Still, Change does require Change.

Change may present itself as a possibility in unexpected places where we least expect to find it.
Unexpected places that when we are in them overwhelm our attention.
Change may present itself as a possibility in unexpected times when we would rather think about anything but change.
Unexpected times when we least expect to discover a new path, a new direction, a new purpose.
Change may present itself as a possibility in unexpected people.
Unexpected people who offer a passing comment, a memorable quote, a revealing insight.
And yet, Change does require Change.

If we are here…with our disappointments
But we would like to be there…
We will have to Change Direction.

If we are here…with our incredible burden of guilt
But we would like to be there…
We will have to Change Direction.

If we are here…with our dead-end job, or relationship, or future
But we would like to be there…
We will have to Change Direction.

If we are here…wandering, wondering, floundering, failing
But we would like to be there…
We will have to Change Direction.


Always, Change does require Change.
And we will need to be aware that we can change the things that we can change

but we will have to work at it…

And it most likely will not happen over-night.

Life Did Not Turn Out As We Had Planned...

I graduated from high school in 1963. In 1964 I moved from my small northern Indiana hometown to the big city of Los Angeles. In 1968 I moved back to Indiana...this time to the sort-of big city of Indianapolis. I do not remember how many class/school reunions I have attended over the 54 years since I graduated.

My guess would be that I have attended five or less school reunions. I believe that my last one was in 1998. My excuse for not attending more often was that the reunions were held on Saturdays and I had to be in the pulpit the next morning.

There is an all-school reunion being held this July. I will be sitting at table with fellow graduates from the great class of 1963.

The July gathering has me wondering: How did life turn out for the class of 1963?

I do not know all the personal and detailed answers to my own question...about how life turned out for each member of the class of '63. But I do know the generalized, the universal answer:
Life did not turn out as we had planned.


There are many good, successful, happy, life-loving members of my graduating class. I know this through some limited contact with some of them in the intervening years since we received our diplomas; through continuing social media contact with some; through snail-mail and email exchanges with some; and through hearsay.

There are a few members of my graduating class who are no longer alive. Events such as war, accident, and the rigors of life have over-taken them.

There are some for whom life has been more difficult than for others. More painful. More grief-filled. More taxing.

But for all of us, life has not turned out as we had planned, way back there in 1963.

And what is true for every member of the class of '63...including me...is true of every person who has ever lived...

Life did not turn out as we had planned.

Life did not turn out as we had planned; as we had thought it would when we were still young and very much naive about how life really worked:
About how life favors some and not others.
About the way that even the best intentions and preparations sometimes fail to shape the outcomes we desire.
About how often and how deeply grief, and loss, and guilt can affect us.
About the positive and negative ways that intimate relationships will mold and shape us.
About the depth of despair and the height of joy.

Maybe life was not all sweetness and light...maybe a parent died too soon; or worse by far, one of our children died; we found a lump, or a lesion appeared; affairs happened; the great job was lost; the drunk driver appeared out of nowhere and nothing would ever be the same.

And when life did not go as we had planned, we tried to mitigate the results with things such as destructive relationships, religion, addictions, compulsions, over-work, running-away, creating a false-narrative, over-indulging, shopping, acquiring, denying. And more.

Or maybe life didn't turn out that dark. Maybe we were dealt a better-than-average hand and we did pretty well at playing the cards we were dealt. Maybe we were kind, loved our significant others, successfully launched our children on their adult adventures,  found faith (as different from religion), were employed in work that benefited the greater good. And more.

Either way, life did not turn out as we had planned.

We have seen troubles that we neither anticipated nor welcomed.
And we have been blessed in ways we did not ask for and did not know we needed.
(Thanks to Phil Gulley for those thoughts.)

Life would have worked out as we planned if we were in charge.
But we were not in charge. There were too many variables:
Other people, time, health (or lack thereof), deadlines, diminishing abilities and capabilities, education...and on and on.
Even so, we gave it a shot.
We tried.
We worked at it.
When we failed, we tried again.

My point here is this:
We've tried as we might to come to grips with the hard fact that life has not turned out as we had planned. Chances are good that most of us have adapted to how life has turned out in pretty fine fashion.
The past is the past.
Now is now.
What tomorrow will bring we do not control.
And we are OK with that.

We have endured all these years...waiting to see how life would work out for us. Our greatest strength, perhaps, is that we have outlived most of the stuff that got in the way of life not turning out the way we had planned.
Carl Jung suggested that the painful experiences of life have to be outlived...outgrown, and probably most of the Class of '63 have learned this up-close-and-personal; the hard way.

I expect to find out from my classmates that they are very much like me, and I am very much like them...in most cases. Life has turned out as it has turned out, and we have dealt with it in some ways that have helped and in other ways that have not; and we have learned from both.
But for sure:
Life Did Not Turn Out As We Had Planned.

But maybe, just maybe, along with author Anne Lamott we can find it within ourselves to say, "Hallelujah Anyway!"

Get In Touch With IT...

There is an IT factor in life.
IT is the inner connection each of us at one time or another senses...a connection of self with others and with That-Which-Is-Greater-Than-All-Else.

And...that leaves every one of us to speculate on just how we might get in touch with IT.

A couple of quotes before I offer my thoughts...

“There is no ideal world for you to wait around for. The world is always just what it is now, and it's up to you know how you respond to it.”   
-Isaac Marion


"There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long.
'I feel that this is right for me.
I know that this is wrong.'
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What’s right for you –just listen to
The voice that speaks inside."    -Shel Silverstein

There is an IT factor in life.
IT is the inner connection each of us at one time or another senses...a connection of self with others and with That-Which-Is-Greater-Than-All-Else.

And...that leaves every one of us to speculate on just how we might get in touch with IT.
Here are my speculations...

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you dream great and good dreams.

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you are open to imagining the best that life can become.

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you accept that life-well-lived is beyond all measure of clocks and calendars.

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you begin to sense that there really is something that holds all things in place…and holds all people in amazing grace.

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you experience that there is just a hint of peace that surrounds you in stillness; a hint of peace that surrounds you…always.

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you catch just the fleeting sound of the harmony in the universe; a sound so right-on-key…so pure…so true.

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you are in touch with the love that is within you; love you have received from others; love that is the very essence of each and all of us.

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you sense a yearning for a place you have not yet found; that calls you toward a destination you know is home.

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you awaken to the truth that life is not about pie-in-the-sky-in-the-sweet-by-and-by, 
but is about the right-here-and-right-now

.

Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you decide to never be the one to cast the first stone…or any stone, really; 
instead you decide to be an agent of wholeness and wellness, help and healing

.



Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you begin to pursue of The Truth, the Whole Truth, The Truth that will set you free; 
free from all the lies and half-truths that have held you back 
and held you captive for too many years…and too many tears.



Perhaps you get in touch with IT when you come to believe that you can live life differently than you're living it now
.

IT is not on the way, IT is already here…
IT is not out there somewhere, IT is inside you somewhere…
Get in touch with IT.

If Prayer Would Do It, I'd Pray...

Today, May 4th, is the National Day of Prayer in the United States.
People are asked to "turn to God in prayer and meditation."
The President always signs an official Proclamation "...encouraging American to pray..."

I suspect the whole thing is not as much a celebration of prayer as it is a celebration of showing we are in favor of prayer...much like we are in favor of mom and apple pie.
Those are my thoughts on the importance of the day...they will not be the thoughts of everyone.
Everybody gets to think their own thoughts.

Here...on this National Day of Prayer...are thoughts (some of which I have previously put in print) about what prayer may or may not be.

What prayer is and is not is a mystery to me.
Does it involve words?
Is silence the real key?
Does prayer only "work" when its offered in some deity's name?
If 500 people pray for the same thing (like a sick friend, or world peace) is that more effective than if just 1 person prays?  Or, 50?  Or, 499?

Is contemplation the same as prayer?
What about reflection?

If I say "I will pray for you," is that dismissive of your problem/pain/illness, or does it show compassion and concern?  Maybe both?

Found a definition of prayer that describes it as "an invocation or an act that seeks to activate a rapport with a deity."  I wonder if that is really the best way to invoke or activate a relationship with a deity.  Any deity.  Don't know that it is, don't know if it isn't.  But I suspect there may be other and better ways to go about this thing.

I wonder what the proper place of prayer in real life is.
I think often of these words from Stephen Levine:
“If prayer would do it, I’d pray.”

At the advanced age of 72, and after over 41 years of serving as a pastor, I think very differently about prayer than I did earlier in my life. I think of prayer now as a way of quieting myself in an attempt to sense what can be known about the Creator's presence. I think of prayer now as a way of "dumping" some of the busyness...some of the crud...some of the trivia that resides in me, and taking in some calmness and grace that the Creator may want to send my way.

On those Sunday mornings when I led the prayers during worship at the final church I served, I offered these words: 

“In these moments of silence

Speak, and we will listen

Listen, and we will speak the words of our hearts.”


That’s where I am with prayer these days…and most likely where I will remain.